Crisis of confidence

I'm having one! A crisis of confidence that is! We are pretty much unschooling, except I have moments where the control freak inside of me rears up and demands to run the show. With so much illness in the house Elijah has gotten used to watching a lot of telly. I mean a LOT of telly. He could easily watch all day - and bearing in mind he doesnt go to bed til gone 11pm that could be a marathon telly day. Either that, or he wants to play on the wii. He is very good at Mario Kart racing in fact.

My worry is that he will never want to do anything else. I offer him all kinds of ideas/activites and he shows interest for a few seconds sometimes but mostly he just says no. He rarely wants to pick up any crayons at the moment and reading a book with him is a battle.

What's brought my panic on then? Well, we have these friends you see, you know, the ones who send their kids to nursery. And all of them are drawing professional family potraits complete with fingers and eye lashes, and a beautifully written label with their name on! And Elijah wont so much as hold a pen!

Plus, we're beginning to consider that maybe he has some sort of hyperactivity issues. He NEVER sleeps. All right then, he sleeps from 11pm til 8am, but never in the day, not even in the car after 4 hours of running around in forest school! We cant get him to go to bed at a decent hour, and right up until we all go to bed and he is forced to have to go to bed, he is still charging around and jumping and climbing and generally full of energy. He NEVER stops talking. Apart from when he's asleep. Or playing Mario - although that is accompanied by relevent sound effect he makes. Right now he is jumping on my bed behind me singing "Tommy Zoom" theme toon at the top of his lungs :)

So lots of questions...... is he normal? are we doing the right approach? should we seek professional advice about his energy levels? should I add structure to our home education? will we ever have a bed time routine that involves our children being in bed before us?

I think this crisis is brought about by exhaustion. It dawned on me this morning that I never ever have any time away from my littlest children. They are both with me every moment of the waking day, up until I go to bed, and they are with me then too - Bear still waking me 4 or 5 times a night mostly. I cant remember the last time DH and I had any time alone without some or all of our kids around. Dont get me wrong, I still think the attachement style we have adopted is absolutely right, but I also think our marriage needs some nurturing too.

But how? We have no family to help out and I always feel terrible if friends offer to help as its always the ones that already have their own plates full if you see what I mean.

Answers on a postcard please .................

I cant believe we are almost at the end of January already. We are all a little sleep deprived for various reasons at the moment. Baby Bear seems very unsettled at night time, awaking every 20 minutes and sitting up in bed. Hence me and his Dad arent getting much sleep. Luckily Elijah sleeps thought it. I think co-sleeping probably means less disruption overall, but there are times (read, sleepless nights) when I think maybe the grass is greener on the other side. We (the grown up cosleepers) are also ready for the 3 1/2 year old to leave our bed but he is very resistant so we carry on. Im just too weary for the battle. DS#3 has been to a sleep over this week and rose admirably to the challenge of staying awake the whole night ;) Its now sleepover +3 and he is still reaping the rewards of his victory in that he is absolutely shattered by mid afternoon most days ;).

Our biggest boy is beginning to get offers in for university places. Yay! I was so worried he would get a handful of rejections! So far he has an offer and 2 interviews. Phew. And the offer is a good one, so we are all pleased.

The deadline for applying for primary school passed recently and I felt very at ease about not applying. I think that peace is from the Lord. I feel certain we are doing the right thing for the time being....we will wait upon the Lord for any other leading and embrace the challenge of home schooling in the mean time. We have been so blessed to find a Christian home educators group nearby - what a group of Godly mothers. They inspire and encourage me whenever I meet with them. In addition, our local meeting is growing each month and we are outgrowing the room we use at our local library. Its all good!

We have been busy as ever learning though play with lots of painting, clay modelling, cutting and sticking, lego, building blocks, and programmable robots. Its never boring!

Lurgy continues....

Well its some days into 2011 and we have been stuck down by yet more illness. Exactly 14 days after Bear came out in chicken pox, so did Elijah! Just in time for our re arranged visit to see The Gruffalo's Child! Luckily we did make it and he thoroughly enjoyed it, even if his parent's stress levels were through the roof (picture if you will, getting stuck in Leicester Tigers game traffic, missing our turning off a one way system, getting lost further on the one way system, one child wetting them selves in their sleep all over the car seat and finally arriving at the theatre 5 minutes into the play = STRESSED!)

Still, the enforced quarantine has been very relaxing and we still havent shifted our body clocks from the 9.30am awakening that began over the Christmas holidays - it will be even harder to shift when we do have to get back to the real world.

It is the deadline for school place applications this friday and so many of my friends have asked me whether I have filled in the form "just in case" or "to keep my options open". I haven't. I feel so confident in my decision to home educate right now, and God has a plan and gives us stewardship over our children:

Psalms 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. (My fave verse!)

Hebrews 2:13 And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God has given me.

Ephesians 6:4 And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Isaiah 54:13 And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of your children.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Schools fail to train up each child according to his or her unique giftings, learning needs, and future callings. When one teacher has to manage a classroom full of children, many simply fall through the cracks. It is no wonder that the number of private tutoring programs and learning academies is growing so rapidly; each week in our local paper I see numerous adverts from private tutors offering to improve your child's maths or english.Britain has one of the worst teenage drop-out rates of any developed country, with more than one in ten of those aged 15 to 19 not in school, work or training (Times Sept 2009).

Our children have a special purpose in God’s plan, and no government institution that shuffles millions of children through an efficiency-based system can come close to addressing this the way parents can in the home.

By placing their children in the school system, parents basically relinquish their authority to teachers, coaches, counselors, administrators, and local education authorities. With such a fragmented National Curriculum, poor teaching standards in many classrooms, constant staff turnover and supply teachers I often wonder if parents even know what their child is actually learning in school.

A child left with other kids for a minimum of five days a week, 195 days a year, will learn to accept and do whatever is necessary in order to gain approval by his peer group. He will learn how to talk, how to dress, how to act, what music to listen to, and which TV shows and movies to watch, and he will get a steady dose of popular culture. It’s interesting that one of the main red flags raised by homeschool skeptics is socialisation. The Bible has already forewarned us about what happens to “a companion of fools.” (Proverbs 13:20b). And whilst I think it does not do our children any good to be completely removed from the popular culture of the world, the Lord tells us to be in the world, but not of the world.

I could ramble on for ages, but instead here are some pics of what we've been up to this last week (despite the pox!)